Life in Your Years Blog: Health, Finance, & More

You have picked out that special someone, or that guy or gal you desire to become your dating interest, boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you have some friends or relatives that you love, and want to send them concise and fun love messages, or in the case of someone you are more than just friends with, romantic messages. Do you even have an idea where to begin? Could you pen love messages and romantic sms messages if you needed to? Do you even understand anything concerning the above subject, love messages?

Yes, it is a great concept to jot down a few romantic messages to your loved ones, whether in text form or even on paper (do individuals still do that??). Why? Because individuals love receivig love messages. They enjoy regularly getting a little note from those individuals they care for. A simple message from a loved one can make a person’s day more happy. Also, a well-written love message can allow you get in with somebody, simply because paying attention to others is one excellent manner to get that person to notice you. The following are 3 tips to think about when writing love messages.

One. Compose Your Own Messages

Swiping someone else’s material is quite bothersome to me. Do not steal people’s love messages or take them from youtube, your favorite musician, etc, all the time. It is okay to use some unoriginal stuff, like a traditional love poem or a buddy’s love note, but you want to add some of your own content. Using your very own content has a couple of effects. Firstly, it shows that you are intelligent. While noone likes a know-it-all, people do value intelligence. If you can’t come up with something original, it makes you appear unintelligent. Secondly, people value your time given to them, and they value it more if they know it is uniquely from you, and not some dopey love quote you swiped from another person.

2. Keep It Concise And Basic

People don’t have a lot of free time in the modern world. It is a shame, but this is the reality. Most people are good at squeezing a message into 125 or so letters, so we always expect that the love messages or romantic sms we receive to be short, even if they are for a boyfriend or girlfriend. So, whether sending a love message on your phone by text or by sending an electronic letter or paper letter, you do not want to write a lot. For one, if you write too much you can look needy and attached. As an example, if a dude sends a message that requires six texts, it makes him appear weird. What type of dude has the time to text a message that lengthy? Well, I say it is somebody that doesn’t have any life. So, keep your romantic messages short, simple, and to the point. If you do that, you will also look kind of mystifying, which means people will want to attempt to get to know you better.

Three. Don’t Be A Creep

You can come across as scary by doing different things. One way to obviously be creepy is by saying too much too rapidly. For example, you don’t want to proclaim your love early on in a relationship. If you state “I love you” too much or too early, you will look clingy and loser-like. Play it cool and move your relationship and your love messages incrementally. You do not want to appear weird or like you have to have a relationship. Being needy, whether you are a female or guy, isn’t attractive and isn’t going to permit you to maintain a relationship. I suggest taking it easy.

As I have shown, creating your own love messages is easy, whether writing to your girlfriend or boyfriend. Even if you want to be romantic or just friends, you are able take sms writing into your own hands!

The essayist suggests writing good messages if you desire to be loved and attract a girlfriend or boyfriend.

There are many ways to say I love you and show your love. I am convinced that most people say “I love you” too much, and fail to show it. Saying it is fine, of course, but if it isn’t backed up by actions, it is pointless. One of the things I notice among my students and friends (and people I know in dating relationships or marriage) is that the phrase “I love you” can easily become stale and meaningless. People will text I love u or something like that, perhaps hundreds of times in a day, but fail to really show it. What  I have found is that you can sum it up mathematically – the more a person says I love you (or texts it), the less love exists in that relationship. Maybe this is oversimplified, but you get my point that just because someone says “I love you” an awful lot doesn’t mean that the relationship itself isn’t awful.

One of the best ways to say, and mean, I love you is to back it up with body language. This is the most important things you can do. You can back it up with a smile, touching, and showing signs of general interest. Open posture also shows love, whereas a closed posture shows a lack of interest. I am amazed how many people I know may say I love you, but interact with people in a way that shows the exact opposite. I find myself doing this sometimes. I mean, I will smile at strangers and not smile at my wife. I will have an open posture with people at supermarkets, but cross my arms when talking to my wife.

Now, while I admit it is easy to get entrenched with loved ones, i.e., it is easy to focus on their faults, I think we need to rethink the ways that we show our love, or the ways that we don’t. It could be as simple as purposefully demonstrating your love a little more often, with your wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend. It could be as simple as smiling more or just treating your relatives, family, and friends like you treat people that excite you a little more. It is not that we try to withhold love from our relatives, wives, and husbands, but that we just let our love go stale, and forget how to show “I love you” even if we say it.

Today, I was watching a movie on drug addiction. I didn’t even catch the name of it, but it was about the downfall of a young woman due to her heroin addiction. At the end, when she finally got clean, she reflected on how she’d used drugs to replace the high that should come with the little joys in life.

I’ve been thinking about that topic lately. I’ve tried to focus on how much I enjoy my morning coffee, how much I love wine and I love chocolate, the joy I have with my three year old daughter, and the cool wind of October blowing as I pick pumpkins at a friends farm, but also the joys of certain foods, like wine and chocolate.

While I don’t know if celebrating the little joys in life will save anyone from a terrible addiction, I believe it relieves stress and makes life a little more enjoyable. Simply being mindful of the things I love on a regular basis has made me happier than ever.

Now that September is nearly over, we say goodbye to summer, not only according to the calendar, but also according to the weather. With the 45 degree nights, changing leaves, and appearance of pumpkins at roadside stands, I think it’s safe to say that summer is gone.

I had a great, but busy summer. I ran outside a lot and got probably the best tan of my life. I didn’t make it to the beach, but did visit an (indoor) water park. Above all, this summer I built up my business. This will make sure that I can spend future summers traveling and doing what I want. I drank more iced coffees than I can count, ate ice cream (I love ice cream, a little too much I think) and even went on a picnic. However, I didn’t play golf which still annoys me.

With fall, I’m pretty excited about a few things. I can’t wait to take pictures, take my 3 year old to the pumpkin patch, and dress up for Halloween. I’m also excited about Cleveland Browns football and the holidays. I’ll miss summer, but I have a lot planned for fall, which makes it easier. Heck, I may even try pumpkin flavored iced coffee and ice cream.

So, it’s nearly July. Even though July 4th is right around the corner, for some reason I typically don’t think of the summer holidays as being all that important. I guess when Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are your top three, spring and summer can seem a little barren in the holiday department. But at least summer saves me from having to strain to make a Santa Jesus connection.

I typically do enjoy Easter, but right now Easter 2012 is a long way away. I guess I can look forward to Labor Day 2011 and Thanksgiving 2011, but it leaves me a little short in the light department. Maybe it’s just me, but wouldn’t it be cool if we had different lights for every holiday, however minor?

I think it would be awesome if every holiday we celebrated, no matter how small had lights. Brown and yellow ones for Thanksgiving. Red, white, and blue ones for the fourth. Green ones for St. Patrick’s Day. We could also have fun things like Easter eggs and the Christmas tree for other holidays. Imagine coloring the Thomas Jefferson bust for the fourth or decorating the replica office bulletin board for Labor Day.

This post is a bit lighthearted (and rambling) since I don’t really have much to celebrate until October. Maybe I should just make the most of it and start putting my own ideas into practice. I’ll be the only one in my neighborhood putting up red lights (for the blood of the oppressed workers) on Labor Day.

What is freedom?

In the past I would have given various definitions, but rarely would they have involved freeing my mind. I used to poke fun at the phrase “free your mind” because it sounded kind of hippieish and a little weird. Plus, the people I know that talk about freedom a lot don’t seem very free themselves, or they tend to like to impose their “freedom” on others so that others are less free.

[ad#ad-2]

I have been thinking lately about freedom, and how and why we end up in the systems we live in. Many people play the perpetual victim, and speak of freedom as someone else allowing them to do, or not do, something. But, shouldn’t we actually be questioning the worst limiter of freedom: our own minds, which are often mired in bad systems and patterns??

Before I begin, I want to state that I love my current job. I have a lot of freedom and flexibility, and I enjoy teaching. However, one system that I have been questioning lately is working for somebody else. From a young age through college, and into the world of work (whether this is the Academy, the corporate world, or at non-profits) we are conditioned to work for somebody else. The American dream is usually presented as getting a degree, working for somebody else, getting an occasional raise or bonus, and climbing up the ladder, so you can buy nice things. Even as a child, our career choices tend to fall within the same framework: we “dream” of working for someone else. Most people complain about this system, but still continually buy into it, even if it is physically and mentally killing them. Lately I have realized this system is very limiting, and the answer is not complaining about the system, or shifting around in the system (“same crap, different toilet” syndrome) but rather leaving the system and starting a new one. Let me explain why I question the current “work” system most of us fall into:

1. Working for someone else means that your best time and ideas benefit someone else – For some reason, very few people realize that by working for another person or organization, we basically hand over our time and ideas so someone else can get more money and influence, while we struggle to make ends meet. This happens in the corporate world, non-profits, and the Academy. If you are lucky (and this is a big “if”), the organization you work for won’t get rid of you or cut off your pension when times get lean. One of the issues I had with college0 was that my college was basically using graduate students (who I often found to be more talented teachers than full professors) as slave labor. Their time, talent, and ideas were barely benefiting them, yet many people were willing to put up with the abuse. It took me a few years being in that system to finally realize I couldn’t stand working in such a ridiculous and dysfunctional system. It is just as bad in the corporate world too, with people giving all they have, while the company benefits, and they get denied raises.

2. Your degree may or may not actually help you – I used to believe that to get ahead you had to go to college. I still believe this, but with serious reservations. I value my college education, but many days I question whether the amount of money I put into it (including student loan debt) is actually worth the return. My colleges were laughing at me all the way to the bank. My BA is in psychology and my Master’s is in religion. Both degrees pretty much leave me in limbo. The BA doesn’t qualify me to do anything related to Psychology, and the Master’s in Religion pretty much qualifies me to barely make ends meet for the rest of my life (whether I choose to teach, be an adjunct professor, etc). Yes, I chose these degrees, and yes, other people choose degrees that are marketable, but the system is broken in the sense that I was never told what life is like after college for people with my degrees. And why would colleges be honest? If they were honest, the few English poetry majors that are actually making decent money teaching English poetry (the tenured professors), would be out of a job. It is just not in the college’s best interest to be honest with its young and idealistic students. So, basically I no longer believe having a college degree=success. I think the person him/herself determines success.

3. By working for someone else you are making trade-offs – Many people dislike their bosses and employing company or organization, yet they remain in this system for the stability. This could be a regular salary, health insurance, etc. Others remain out of habit. Others don’t realize there is a way out. There is a way out, and it is called starting your own business, organization, or non-profit. The government makes this difficult (regulations tend to favor companies, especially big ones, that are already in business and can influence regulations), but it can be done. The question, however, is this: can you handle the risk? Doing your own thing requires trading stability for risk, but also trading resentment and monotony for happiness and autonomy. As I have gotten older, I have decided that the risk is worth it.

4. Isn’t working about sacrifice and heartache?? – “Work sucks.” I hear this all the time. If it is so bad, then why in the world would a person get up every morning and devote 40-60 hours of his week to such an endeavor? If you are doing this, stop for a second, and ask why any happy and free human being would do such a thing? Why does it have to be this way? Can’t you see yourself waking up every morning and loving your job? Why can’t every workday be exciting and full of possibilities? Many readers may scoff at this, but does it really take that much to be happy and fulfilled? I know people that are photographers, freelance writers, and handymen that love their jobs. We are taught to settle. We are taught to remain in limiting systems and jobs in which we are asked to do more, for less money and less freedom. We accept that micromanaging bosses and wasting away mindlessly in a cubicle are laws of nature. We are taught that we are victims, and that the only way out is retirement. Not true. You could leave today! You could leave right this very moment. I am not saying that is a good idea without planning, but you could do it right now.

Now, let me ask my readers, have you ever complained about your job or job system (job system= being in the corporate, Academic, or non-profit “worlds”)? Most of us have. Now, let me ask: how many of you have ever questioned the system itself? How many of you have actually looked into exiting the system? Unfortunately, studies show that once humans commit to something, it is hard for us to leave it. If we have gotten a degree, or given 5 years to a job, many people will stay simply because of past commitment. However, who says that spending 5 years working for a job means that you have to live miserably for the next 20 years? If the “system” sucks, then start your own system!

In today’s economy, it is illogical for people to hate business. Instead they should love business. I understand their dislike of big business that conspires with the government to run the little guys out of business and devalue the average worker, but in this era we need more competition, from the good guys, not less competition, so that our only options end up being to work for the unwieldy and uncaring big businesses, universities, and non-profits. This is why one dream of mine is to help schools pair with local entrepreneurs to teach a younger generation how to start and run their own businesses. Whether school systems, which generally encourage conformity and dependence, would ever encourage this, I don’t know.

At age 33, feeling more independent and confident than ever, I question the system. I now dream of being in charge, being the boss, not of other people per se, but of my own destiny. I don’t want to work for someone else or another organization anymore. I may not get rich (I actually believe I will), but at the very least I will be doing what I love, and enjoying my autonomy. Even though I do love my current teaching job, I don’t see myself being there forever. I went to a fundraiser a few months ago, and the teachers and principals were talking about how many sacrifices they have made over the years. The people we were honoring at the event, who donated thousands of dollars to help our schools, owned their own businesses or organizations and were using their extra money and influence to give back to others. I decided I would dream to be like them, not the people who after 30 years were still scraping to get by and scanning their mind for reasons just to get up in the morning. At that moment, I decided I wouldn’t be anybody’s tool, except perhaps, my own.