Life in Your Years Blog: Health, Finance, & More

There are many ways to say I love you and show your love. I am convinced that most people say “I love you” too much, and fail to show it. Saying it is fine, of course, but if it isn’t backed up by actions, it is pointless. One of the things I notice among my students and friends (and people I know in dating relationships or marriage) is that the phrase “I love you” can easily become stale and meaningless. People will text I love u or something like that, perhaps hundreds of times in a day, but fail to really show it. What  I have found is that you can sum it up mathematically – the more a person says I love you (or texts it), the less love exists in that relationship. Maybe this is oversimplified, but you get my point that just because someone says “I love you” an awful lot doesn’t mean that the relationship itself isn’t awful.

One of the best ways to say, and mean, I love you is to back it up with body language. This is the most important things you can do. You can back it up with a smile, touching, and showing signs of general interest. Open posture also shows love, whereas a closed posture shows a lack of interest. I am amazed how many people I know may say I love you, but interact with people in a way that shows the exact opposite. I find myself doing this sometimes. I mean, I will smile at strangers and not smile at my wife. I will have an open posture with people at supermarkets, but cross my arms when talking to my wife.

Now, while I admit it is easy to get entrenched with loved ones, i.e., it is easy to focus on their faults, I think we need to rethink the ways that we show our love, or the ways that we don’t. It could be as simple as purposefully demonstrating your love a little more often, with your wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend. It could be as simple as smiling more or just treating your relatives, family, and friends like you treat people that excite you a little more. It is not that we try to withhold love from our relatives, wives, and husbands, but that we just let our love go stale, and forget how to show “I love you” even if we say it.

Now that September is nearly over, we say goodbye to summer, not only according to the calendar, but also according to the weather. With the 45 degree nights, changing leaves, and appearance of pumpkins at roadside stands, I think it’s safe to say that summer is gone.

I had a great, but busy summer. I ran outside a lot and got probably the best tan of my life. I didn’t make it to the beach, but did visit an (indoor) water park. Above all, this summer I built up my business. This will make sure that I can spend future summers traveling and doing what I want. I drank more iced coffees than I can count, ate ice cream (I love ice cream, a little too much I think) and even went on a picnic. However, I didn’t play golf which still annoys me.

With fall, I’m pretty excited about a few things. I can’t wait to take pictures, take my 3 year old to the pumpkin patch, and dress up for Halloween. I’m also excited about Cleveland Browns football and the holidays. I’ll miss summer, but I have a lot planned for fall, which makes it easier. Heck, I may even try pumpkin flavored iced coffee and ice cream.

Me: If I can help it I’ll never work for someone else again
My teenage step-daughter: Then how will you ever get a job?

Such a reaction would be absolutely hilarious if it wasn’t actually so tragic. The notion that we must do the bidding of others is so engrained in the minds of many, that the thought of actually starting one’s own business or forging a new path is completely overlooked. It reminds me of an insight I had a few months ago: create your own reality or someone else will happily create it for you.

I don’t want to make this a post bashing compulsory public education, but I wouldn’t expect a movement dedicated to de-Catholicizing Catholics to give independent thought a, well, second thought. Instead of promoting American Civic Religion, it seems much of high school education today turns people into intellectual conformists.

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While the blame can’t be laid at the feet of teachers, I think the system bears quite a bit of fault. But, then again, education hasn’t changed much since the telegraph took social networking to new heights. Forward thinking tech geek entrepreneurs have altered the way society thinks and acts with their ideas and hard work, but our educational experts have merely replaced the chalkboard and overheard projector with a smart board and chalk and overheads with Power Point.

Although most teachers would be horrified to know they’re creating zombies ready to do the bidding of corporate masters, they’re in a system designed for just that. Everyone sits in rows quietly. Everyone does the exact same assignments in class and basically learns the same material. The questioning or the rowdy (who are really asking questions with their behavior, like why the hell am I wasting my time?) are marginalized. It’s nice preparation for a life where a person is expected to work a job he or she hates, retire, then die. Oh, and let’s not forget the layoffs, stagnant wages, and so on.

I know this post is a tad on the cranky side (maybe fully there) and part of it is my own anger that I am thirty-two years old and even after completing high school, undergrad, and getting my Masters, was still as clueless as my daughter only six months ago. She is more than welcome to work for someone else her entire life. But, at least I know, no thanks to the schools, she has the knowledge to choose otherwise.

It  has been awhile since I have updated this blog, which is ironic, given the continued importance health, finance, and the other topics of this blog have become to me. 2010 was a great year for me, and 2011 looks to be even better. Here is a little update for those that are following this blog (maybe I am just talking to myself!):

- I am finally up to running 10 miles, 3 times a week. It has been a long haul, and I remember a few years ago when 4 miles, 3x/week, was a big deal, but chipping away at getting in shape for 3 years has really paid off.

- I decided to stop using free weights. I was making progress with them, but when you add a 10 mile run to time lifting, it was taking up a large chunk of my evening. Instead, I bought a Gold’s Gym set with a chin-up bar and perfect push up units. I can now use these tools (along with an ab wheel) any time I like. This is much more convenient than lifting at the Y, and the look I am getting is more “thin-toned” than bulky.

- I am much more aware of the power of the mind. Most of my reading lately has centered around the brain , the mind, and that sort of thing. I have particularly enjoyed reading about the possibility of the “quantum brain.” Evan Walker, Jeffrey Schwartz, and others, believe that our “will” (dare I say “soul?”) might be a component of quantum reality.

- Related to the above post, I have looked into viewing eating differently. I have tried to identify the reasons I like to eat so much. I think food is really a comfort thing for me. I don’t have many addictions, but food comes close. I find it kind of humorous how many people I know have outright disdain for alcohol or tobacco, and will express this while scarfing down unhealthy types and amounts of food without seeing the irony of the situation. I am perfectly willing to admit I have a problem with food. Now that I admit this, I can deal with it (and I have!).

- I view life a lot differently than I did since I last posted. I try to live life in the present, not worrying so much about the past or future. This is called mindfulness in Eastern traditions, but Jesus taught the same thing (the birds of the air don’t worry, yet they do just fine). I have missed so many present moments in the past that I am pretty much done with living like that. Life is good, and I enjoy waking up every day and seeing the possibilities. I know this sounds hokey, but it is better than the alternative, just getting by on autopilot, waiting for somebody else to come to your rescue with a good job, better house, or whatever.

- I reconnected with an old friend whose life was also on autopilot. Fortunately, he broke free before he worked himself into an early grave. I wish more people would question the “work 60 hours a week so you can earn money you will never get to enjoy” model. Fortunately he realized this before he reached his (early) grave. It has been awesome to rekindle our friendship.

- The winter is almost over, and spring is coming! I can’t wait. As usual, this means running outside, more golfing, etc. I am at peace with the winter (although the truce is sometimes uneasy), but I am welcoming the coming thaw. The above image is from last spring. I took it on a very warm April day.

The internet is full of negative opinions of businesses, and complaints about them, which I certainly understand often needs to be shared. However, I have a very positive experience with Nikon USA that I would like to share.

I bought a Nikon D5000 camera (with 2 lenses) in late September. I have been very pleased with the camera, and the image quality. However, when I looked over my initial images, I found a “stuck pixel” and a “hot pixel,” both showing up at normal shutter speeds. This was an annoyance, because the stuck pixel showed up on every image. Mind you, it was tiny (one pixel out of 12.3 million), but it showed up as a glowing green cross on some photos, and showed up as a blank cross on others. When it glowed, it was clearly visible at normal viewing. Apparently, the D5000 sensor, shared with the Nikon D90, is prone to such pixel problems. Actually, I ordered the camera primarily because of the sensor, which has been rated with other much more expensive cameras in terms of its ability to capture images, so it was disappointing to encounter a stuck pixel so soon. The images at the bottom of this post show the pixels in question, giving you an idea of what they are.

At any rate, let me talk about my experience with the Nikon repair center at Melville, New York. I sent the camera in for repair on Monday, October 5th, using UPS 3-day shipping. They got the camera on Wednesday, October 7th. Even with the Columbus Day holiday, the camera was in my hands again on Wednesday, October 14th. This is a 10 calendar-day turnaround time from ship-date to being in my hands again. From the time Nikon received the camera in Mellville, NY, to when I got it back, the turnaround time was only 5 business days. That is pretty impressive. They even shipped it back to me next-day air. All of this was covered on warranty (minus my original shipping charges). Also, Nikon sent a work-order number to my email, so I could track the status of the repair, including a UPS tracking number once it shipped.

Yes, you could say the camera shouldn’t have had a stuck pixel when I bought it, but I think Nikon did a great job taking care of my problem, and I send my Kudos out to Nikon!

Below: Stuck Pixel on a Normal Image

Below: The glowing stuck pixel, and a hot pixel

Motivation…whether it’s to clean our room or mow our lawn, it’s not easy and to be honest, it’s probably not the same for everyone. But, motivation has to be at the root of successful workouts. As I mentioned in a previous post, you can’t even start to exercise if you don’t get to the gym, get off the couch, etc. I know it sounds very mental and working out is supposed to be physical, but inspiration is just as important as perspiration when it comes to losing weight (my apologies to Thomas Edison).

Admittedly, I am to the point now where I am simply motivated as a matter of fact. I don’t say this to brag, but I don’t really think about it; I simply do it. But, it wasn’t always that way. Unless working out has become a life habit, motivation remains an important component. So, here are a few of my suggested motivational tips (note: I’ve not actually used all of these, but figure they’d be good). Today I’m going to discuss more short term tips and next week, I’ll write part two which will detail more long term motivational tips.

Short Term:

Visualize it- Visualize what you want to accomplish at that very moment. If your goal is to go to the gym, then don’t let yourself even consider going home to sit on the couch. Keep focused and see yourself at the gym, on the bike, etc.

Filter out the noise- Life is really busy and it’s easy to think that all the little things pulling at us are more important than working out. Remove the deadlines, the home stress, and everything else from your mind. Exercise (which helps focus anyway) should be a big priority, which means that the little things vying for our daily attentions should not lead us to avoid exercise.

Remind yourself of the immediate benefits- I overheard a guy at the YMCA say how he’s never (except when sick) left the YMCA feeling worse than when he came in. He meant that although it may have been a pain to drag himself in, he always felt better after exercising. I can completely affirm his statement. Remind yourself of the immediate, great feeling that you get when you workout.

More coming next week, so check back!